my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize