Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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