You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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