So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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