Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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