My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize