Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize