Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize