he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Randomize