haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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