Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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