you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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