so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize