good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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