My pussy is not your playground.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize