I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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