I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize