I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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