Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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