But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize