i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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