two words: eviction party
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize