Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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