She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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