my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize