If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize