Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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