She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize