My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
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You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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