i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize