I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
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It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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