Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think I sprained my soul last night
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Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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