last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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