if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize