The best revenge is premature balding
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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