Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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