You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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