okay pat passed out under dana's car
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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