I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize