Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we're so committed to being not committed
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