dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
sarcasm needs its own font
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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