the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize