Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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