Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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