he shaved USA in his pubs
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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