I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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