They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
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I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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