We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize