i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize