I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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